Chemo begins

Round one of chemo was on 12th January. This is basically the journey to the end. Treatment doesn’t stop now until my Dad stops it, or, it stops him. 

How’s this Aspie dealing with things? As much as I thought I could “be sad” without turning it into anger, well, that didn’t last. The week before last I was pretty explosive. It certainly didn’t take much to set me off, and off I went a couple of times. And apologise I did, afterwards. I just sort of feel ‘flat’ now.

The ‘not knowing’ is making things hard for me. The side effects weren’t much of anything the first couple of days, he just couldn’t eat/drink/touch anything cold. Yesterday he was fatigued, he slept most of the day. Of course I was expecting the worst – nausea etc, but that hasn’t come and I’m glad about it. He’s lost 3 kilos in a week. He’s eating and drinking ok, but he’s doing it because he knows he has to, not because he feels much like he wants to. He has to take pain medication for his bone cancers that hurt him, which is making his constipated – it’s like a trade off, you sacrifice something in an attempt to reduce something else. It scares me that quality of life may be sacrificed for quantity – I’ve read so much, seen pictures, it’s just a prick of a cancer.

I’ve been trying to keep busy, I took my son to see some family members on the weekend which was good, and he’s having swimming lessons every day. I’m trying to not let my thoughts consume me. I read every spare minute I get – anything not to think of reality right now. Well, more so to not think about the fact there’s nothing I can do to change reality. Dads got a positive attitude about him and I wish I could join it, I keep up appearances around him, but at home it’s gone. 

This entry was published on January 17, 2017 at 10:37 AM. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

5 thoughts on “Chemo begins

  1. It is a bloody hard trip, chemo… for the patient and his/her family….I hope the nausea doesn’t begin .. that’s just an extra thief of life’s quality.

    It is a trade off … one that only your Dad can decide upon its worth. I still trade off a lot of quality to give me the most chance. Fortunately I’m in remission and hope it doesn’t return… constant sword of Damocles hanging over the head…. and at times when quality is really crap I question the worth of enduring side effects of various meds.

    Amy I can recommend a few books that I’ve found helpful:
    ” The Complete Guide to Relieving Cancer Pain and Suffering”
    Richard B. Patt and Susan S Lang Oxford University Press

    ISBN- 0-19-53202-3 I bought it at Monash Uni Bookshop @ Alfred Hospital Melbourne.

    Also have really good books on Orthomolecular Science.. re nutrition and maximising the possibility of managing cancer. I still incorporate certain foods into my daily diet.

    Love the beautiful photo of you and your Dad. Take Care of yourself and it is OK to be angry… I see it as another face of fear… and understandably so.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This field was intentionally left blank on said:

    Sending thoughts of love and strength your way, luv ❀️

    I also second Private Person Blog’s nutrition idea – it can help, and I hope it does πŸ’πŸ’ž

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thinking of you and sending love. It’s so very tough and all consuming xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thinking of you and praying. It is SO hard!

    Liked by 1 person

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