Soul mates. What?
I’ve been doing some reading on this topic and I think I’m more confused now than before I started. I’m not spiritual; I don’t light incense or understand tarot. I’m not into pseudo spirituality. As a matter of fact I grew up learning that this type of spirituality is the devil’s work and a quick path to hell. Magic and that sort of thing were a no-no. I’m not religious at all, haven’t been for a long time, and I see the irony in my Christian family denouncing magic etc as the devil’s work whilst preaching from a book which asks you to believe that people rise from the dead, and can turn water into wine. (Please don’t take offence, none is intended 😬 this is a personal observation about my family) So let’s just call me what I am – a sceptic. However, I digress…
Soulmates. Soulmates. Soulmates.
It has to be a subjective term, surely?
In Australia a “mate” is a friend. In other countries a “mate” is a lover. A lot of the sites I read (skimmed) talk about soulmates having a connection that is unlike any other. So, in my thinking, there are three types of soul people in life – soulfamily, soulfriends and soulmates.
Soulfamily is pretty straight forward in my case. I have a close family. I have two cousins who I don’t like and don’t talk to – they’re not a part of my soulfamily. The rest of my family I have a strong connection with – not just because we share genes, they’re genuinely good people and I’m lucky.
Soulfriends. I have two. They’re male; whom I have a bond with like no other of my “friends”. But there’s no romantic link despite the chemistry; it’s more akin to a sibling bond. Matter of fact I call them my brothers – so, maybe they’re my chosen soulfamily. It’s pure comfort being in their company, lots of laughs, we “get” each other. They both have partners who I get along well with. I’ve known them since we were teenagers. One of them shares the same birthday as me; we were born two hours apart (different hospitals). It’s a pretty cool coincidence.
Ahh, and soulmates. Hmm. I probably romanticise this but; I’d like to believe we only have one true one. The one. Although I am sceptical about all things spiritual sometimes you meet someone and things are too coincidental to ignore. It’s a real world connection and attraction on every level. A serendipitous meeting of two people who are meant to be. It’s chemistry exploded. It’s a comfort of presence and the missing piece of your life that you didn’t realise was missing. It’s not forced it just is what it is – two imperfect people perfect for each other.
I thought I had this. But if it’s meant to be, then it will continue to be, right? I don’t believe soulmates can turn in to soulfriends. That doesn’t work for me. For whatever reason I just refuse to downgrade a soulmate, and refuse to be downgraded by one to soulfriend. Because; love, emotions, feelings! The official relationship title is gone but it doesn’t automatically turn it into friendship. It’s a whole different chemistry set.
So, it follows.. Does that mean this person isn’t my soulmate? There’s external factors like timing etc but realistically all we have is time! And it’s limited at that – you don’t know how long until your time is up. It makes no sense to me to wait for better timing. And it also makes no sense to me to waste time. If they’re not in fact your soulmate then doesn’t it make sense to cut your losses? And if they are, and you both are know it, but you’re not willing to act on it – again, you’re wasting time. If you can’t be friends with them then they serve no purpose; except maybe as a lesson. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
THIS is the kind of person I believe a soulmate should be…
Life can be pretty unfair. Maybe, just maybe, we meet someone and we are their soulmate but they are not ours. Or vice-versa. I have no idea, I’m no guru or love doctor, I’m just an Aspie who is struggling to figure this love/life crap out.
Or maybe I’m just an Aspie who needs to categorise things and people to make sense of their relevance in my life. Because if they’re not categorised then they’re floating around my head as “unknown” and if there’s ANYTHING I’ve learnt about myself it’s that I’m not ok with the Unknown. Sounds a little (a lot) like me.
Photo credit: Google image search “soul”