Smiling and presents.

Smiling. I’m not really a smiler. Sure, I’ll awkwardly arrange my face for a photo for the sake of it. For me, though, it’s just not a natural facial expression. Really smiley people actually make me quite uncomfortable – usually because I assume they’re on drugs. I either show too much of my teeth, not enough, or none and get accused of pouting. I think my issue is that I don’t like it because I can’t see it. Maybe it’s a self esteem thing? I’ve been told I’m “beautiful” when I smile, and that I have a “beautiful smile”. That doesn’t really mean much to me to be honest. Matter of fact it makes me want to smile less. 

I have an issue with presents and surprises which correlates with this too. There’s a certain expectation of behaviour in these situations. I am ALWAYS grateful for presents, that someone would spend their time and money to give me something. It’s never worried me that I wouldn’t like the present, but that my reaction would not be “right” and would offend. So presents give me anxiety. I never know if my smile looks fake so I try and keep it plastered on my face for as long as possible, to show on the outside how grateful I feel on the inside. Surprises take me out of my comfort zone, my “need to know” goes in to overdrive. I have tried to “let” others surprise me, but I have this way of getting bits and pieces of information out of people and it becomes a mystery I have to solve so I can prepare. 

The ironic thing is … That I love surprising people and giving them presents! (Although, once I buy someone a present I find it extremely hard not to tell them what it is or give it to them straight away, I don’t know how many times I’ve forced my sister to open a present early or let me tell her what I’ve gotten her).

This is such a random blog entry, it’s just the way my mind works, especially at the moment because I am thinking about different aspects of my life from a different perspective 😊.

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This entry was published on July 12, 2016 at 12:03 PM. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

6 thoughts on “Smiling and presents.

  1. Can so relate to this! I’m pretty good at smiling (I think), although I can’t do it properly for photos. But I’m utterly, utterly terrible at coming across as sincerely grateful for stuff, even when I am!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This field was intentionally left blank on said:

    I can relate, too!

    I use a lot of smileys in my writing, mainly because I don’t want to rub people the wrong way. I’ll smile at someone in passing, because it might make their day. But some people have mistaken a deep-thinking facial expression for grumpiness, when really I was just relaxed, focused on the thoughts in my head.

    I, too, love presents and surprises, but I’m also very self-conscious, hoping that I’ll react the “right” way outwardly.

    Up until I met people of the Asperger’s/autism spectrum community, I hadn’t thought anyone felt the same way as I did! Awesome post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I use them a lot too, they’ve made texting easier, although I sometimes have to remember not to add them to business like emails 😊😃 lol!

      I know what you mean, so many things that didn’t really make sense to me do now and I’m not even diagnosed. Nice to be able to connect to people that’s for sure 😊

      Like

  3. I practised smiling so much . Practising and researching what a genuine looks like and practising it over and over in the mirror. At one point my fake smile was fantastic ! Oh the joy of masking and acting ! :-/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Women are very good at that smile, feeling like crap but when needing to hide it its *bling* and that million dollar smile appears.

    Liked by 1 person

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