Compulsions

Whilst I’m airing all of my oddities I thought I should get them all out as they come to me. I’ve never really taken to time to explore myself so much, I’ve always felt somewhat different, it’s interesting to consider these things about myself almost objectively and try to make sense of it as I go. Sometimes there are things, this may sound strange, but I feel a NEED to do them. It’ll bother me if I don’t.

Tags hanging out of shirts. Once I see it I can’t ignore it. I just need to push it back into where it’s supposed to go, I’ve done this to strangers.

Pimples. With puss filled heads on them. Need to be popped. I’ve never popped one on a stranger before but if there’s one visible it makes me almost uncomfortable and it’s all I can concentrate on. My family are not so lucky. I squeeze their faces to get rid of them. I make my sister pull up her shirt so I can check her back for them when she visits. And blackheads. It’s so gross, I can’t even explain it. 

Touching people’s hair and clothes. If the texture looks interesting (I don’t think that’s the right word?) I feel the need to touch it. My ex had dreadlocks and I liked feeling them, rubbing them between my fingers. I really liked touching his face as well (he had a beard) it just felt nice in my hands. I have touched people’s clothing and apologised, it’s like I need to connect what I imagine something would feel like with the actual ‘truth’ of what it feels like, to make sure it matches. I still have my teddy bear from when I was a baby, my Mum said I didn’t care about the bear so much but the ribbons tired around its neck, I used to rub these with my fingers for comfort – seems to be something I’ve always done

Pressing buttons to see what they do. I’m curious. So so curious. I have a NEED to know. I guess I do this to people too. 

Picking my skin. I like when it’s smooth. Scabs, flaky skin, sweat pimples, etc, don’t align with that. Pick pick scratch pick.

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This entry was published on July 5, 2016 at 12:47 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

3 thoughts on “Compulsions

  1. Oh boy, I’m so glad it’s not just me with the picking! I had acne for nearly 25 years so I got a lot of practice in…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This field was intentionally left blank on said:

    Yep, count me in, too Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

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